Nama Retreat. Session 3

Krishna Chaitanya Devam Shri Radha Krishna Padam Sahagana Valita Shri Shaka Vitam Shcha E Krishna Karuna Sindho Vinavando Jagatpate Gopesa Gopika Kanta Prada Kanta Namastute Taptapanchanagorangyi Prade Vrindavaneshwari Vishavanu Sutta Devi Pranamani Haripriye Vanchakapatalubyascha Kripasindubya eva ca Paditanam Panebhyo Taishnarebhyo Namur Mahah Sri Krishna Chaitanya Prabhu Nitananda Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare Hare Hare Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Hare Hare, Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Hare Hare. Rama Rama Hare Hare So, good evening. The program for today's evening is very simple. We have something like one hour and ten minutes before we will have to go down to the bigger hall and to see drama. I believe it will be Kaliya Damana Lila or maybe something else. We will chant for a few minutes. And then we'll have some Java exercises according to the material which I gave this morning. I will try to remind you of certain points and we will do some exercises. And then I will try to answer the questions which are given to me. So let's chant for a few minutes. Shri Krishna Chaitanya Prabhupada Nita Nanda Shri Advaita Gada Dharas Sri Vasadi Gauravakta Vrinda Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare so I want to do with you a little exercise which is based on the material which I gave this morning first of all let me say a few words about Sharanagati somebody asked me in the questions why in the verse the order is from Anukul to Atmanik Shepa and Karpanya and why Srila Bhaktivinoda Takur gives the opposite order. This question actually was answered by Vedanta Deshika because in different tantras the order of the limbs of Saranagati is given differently. The verse which we all know is coming from Lakshmi Tantra. And in Lakshmi Tantra it is said, first we do something which is favorable for our master, and then we avoid to do anything which would be displeasing to him, and we feel that he protects us and he maintains us, and we also feel very humble and ultimately we are ready to give everything which we have to him. In other tantras like Avirbhunya, Samhita, the order is opposite. And Vedanta Deshika answering this question because usually order means something. Usually order either is coming in descending order or in ascending order. Something less important in the beginning, the most important in the end, or vice versa. But Vedanta Deshika, he says, ultimately, saranagati is just one body. The body has body itself and five limbs of it. Of course, different acaryas, avacharyas differ from Sri Vaishnava acaryas, what is the anghi and what is anga, the limbs of this. But ultimately he says, you know, it doesn't matter how you mention the limbs of the body. It starts with the leg and goes to the hand and then goes to the head, or starts with this leg and goes the opposite order or starts with the head. It's all one. in a good sense, not in the Mayavadi sense. It's all one because it's one entity. And you can describe this entity in different ways. That's one answer which can be given. Another answer which can be given is that Sharanagati goes in cycles. it's not just one thing but it's progression, it's a development and something which is at the end in another cycle will will be beginning so you can start from this end go to another end but then you can start from that end and there is no end to Sharanagati in a sense that even though Sharanagati is complete from the very beginning according to the definition of Shilajiva Goswami he says Sharanagati means Ananya Gatitva Sharanagati, this is the Sanskrit definition of Sharanagati it basically means that I don't have anyone else to ask for protection. There's nobody else to take shelter of. This very acute feeling inside that here is the one who can give me protection and should give me protection and I go to him and I don't ask anyone else. I don't ask Indra, I don't ask Varuna, I don't ask my temple commander, I don't ask Rahul Gandhi, or whoever it is. So, but still within this complete surrender, he is the only one who can give me shelter and should give me shelter. There could be degrees of surrender to this one entity, to this one all-powerful person who is reciprocating with our surrender. But what I wanted to say in the beginning before we start this exercise is that, yeah, first I'll explain how Srila Jiva Goswami divides Saranagati. He says that the Anga, the body of Sharanagati, is Gopthritavarana. The understanding that Krishna, God, Supreme Personality of Godhead, He is the one who maintains me. He is the one who always maintains me and I am totally dependent on Him. I am not dependent on anyone else. and it's a very beautiful description if we go a little deeper into this understanding because if we take the body as a whole and we take separate limbs of this body then each and every separate limb of the body we should be able to derive this limb from the whole body because if we have the body the body has all the limbs So let's first see how this concept that goptritve varana is actually the whole body, anga, and how everything else is just a particular case, particular manifestation of this complete whole. so if we understand that Krishna is our maintainer that he is our protector, maintainer he is our Bhartu, he is our Gopthar, Gopthar basically means he is our cowherd he is herding this not very nice herd of cows and each cow thinks I am independent but still nevertheless he is trying, he is maintaining he is giving us so if we have this understanding, I have a master and this master is responsible to maintain me he is responsible to give me he gave me this body he gave me my intelligence he gave me all my abilities he gave me the slide, he gave me the air he gave me Govartat retreat center He gave me so many things. He is the one who is giving and he continues to give. Gives all the time. Then, obviously, if this understanding is very clear in our mind, then obviously we will want to do something which is pleasing to him. Isn't it? If you have a master and you're dependent on this master and this master is giving to you and you want to get a little more from this master, then naturally what you do? You try to figure out what is pleasing to him. So, that's point number one, very clearly. And obviously you will also try to avoid something which is displeasing to the master. Because if you are dependent on the master and the master is displeased with you, what will happen at the end? You know, you will get less. So, these two angers are very easily coming from there. Now, of course, if we have this master and he is maintaining, he is responsible for us, then will he protect us or not? Will he give us protection? Of course. Naturally, he will give us protection. He is the master. You know, if you have a cow, I don't know if you have a cow. Mananda has cow. Nowadays, it's mostly Brahmacharis who have cows. Grihasters cannot afford to have a cow. If you have a cow and you're responsible for this cow, you're feeding this cow, you're making sure that the cow is clean, clean, that the cow shed is nice and then the cow has enough sun to walk, then naturally you will protect this cow, isn't it? Protection is just a particular case of maintenance, isn't it? And then Atmanik Sheppar Karpanye you know, if you really understand that I have a master and I'm totally dependent on this master and you have internally this feeling that I'm dependent on this master, then naturally, the desire to reciprocate with what master is giving comes. He is giving us so much. Why doesn't I give him myself? I anyway, totally dependent on him. I am his. I belong to him. So it's actually a very nice and generous gesture you know, I give myself to the Lord. Come on, you already is. You don't have to give yourself to the Lord. It's just a reality. And then Atmanikshepa karpanye, the last point of Sharanagati is karpanye, which comes from the word kripa. Kripa means mercy. Kripa means I don't know if there is a good English word for this. In Russian, there is a very good word for kripa. Kripa doesn't mean milos. Kripa means jalost. When you pity somebody. Kripa is this feeling when you feel the pity upon somebody. And, you know, and karpanya means I feel that I'm pitiful that somebody should look at me and see how pitiful I am this is what karpanya means this feeling that I need some pity, not even mercy pity because mercy can be little discriminant Pity is just, you know, this guy is so hopeless, you know. Let's pity him. So that's Karpanya. So if, again, this all can be easily derived from this notion, Gop-trittva-varana. Krishna is my maintainer, and everything else is just particular cases of this idea, of this concept or of this feeling. Again, we are talking about Sharanagati as an emotional state. So the main point of Sharanagati is to understand that I am totally dependent on the Lord and He is protecting me and He is seeing how I need His protection. And I show to Him that really I need your protection I need this so this morning why I'm talking about this this morning I told a very important point that is emotion always has some physiological component in it emotion which is coming in the mind which arises in the mind from the desire of the soul. The soul desires and then in the mind a certain emotional feeling comes and this emotional feeling transforms the body. As I gave the definition of emotion of bhava, this is manovikara. This is the transformation of the mind which ultimately comes and transforms the body. There are certain processes, physiological, chemical processes which are taking place in the body when we experience some emotions. So this is the process which is descending process. The soul wants something, then the mind experiences certain emotions according to this desire of the soul and then the chemical chain reaction starts in the body. But the opposite is also true. When we reproduce certain state, physiological state, It influences our mind and helps us to experience the same emotion. So what I want us to do now, I want us to think about the situation when we felt completely protected, completely dependent on somebody and at the same time completely protected by this particular person. I'm sure anyone of us has some sort of this experience. It could be our association with spiritual master, with some saintly person, with our parents, maybe with teachers who loved us completely, causelessly. I want us to remember this thing. You know, the human being is a very special creation of God because we have a very developed mind and developed intelligence, developed brain. And in this developed brain, we can relieve the emotions. We can re-experience the emotions again and again and again. That's exactly what we're doing all the time. We remember certain situations and the same emotion comes and the same chemicals are produced and the same feeling is there. So I want us to go deeper within our memory, to remember somebody or some situation when I felt completely, totally, absolutely protected and therefore very bold. And therefore at the same time very, very grateful internally. and try to feel how it feels on the level of the body also. I know it will be difficult for this part of the audience and it will be much easier for this part of the audience because female bodies are more talented as far as the emotional part is concerned. The right brain is more developed And men are just, you know, left praying. They will first analyze what he's talking about. And in the meantime, the exercise will be over. Again, I want us to try to relieve this emotional experience again. and try to chant Hare Krishna mantra with this emotion. Because ultimately that's what Saranagati means. Saranagati means the emotion of gratitude, the emotion of total complete security. I am absolutely secure, there is nothing to worry. Somebody asked Srila Prabhupada, Prabhupada, how you feel when you chant Hare Krishna? And Prabhupada made a pause. For a short while, he was thinking. And he said, I feel fearless. That's exactly what I mean. This emotion of Saranagati is the feeling when you're totally protected. When you're fearless, you know that there is a protector with you. and you want to express your gratitude or you want to say something to him. So it may be, you know, for different people it may be different situations but I'm sure that everyone of you had some sort of experience of this sort when you're completely protected. So that's what it means. And by this emotion of sharanavati and by chanting with this emotion we will conquer over the stressful negative emotions which we experience normally. So let's do this exercise for 10 minutes. Are you ready to chant for 10 minutes? Okay. Okay. Please don't be lazy. Don't be emotionally lazy. I don't want to disturb you, but ten minutes is over and even more. Somebody was bored about changing? No? So that's a very important point. As I said, emotions, as some people little jokingly derive this word emotions, they say energy in motion. But it's a fact. Emotions is a certain sort of energy. And we should be able to reproduce these emotions of Saranagati. And as I said, this Gop Tritve Varanam and understanding, very deep understanding of gratitude. How much I was already given. How Krishna maintains me. How Krishna takes care of me. So, this sort of feeling will help us to actually chant properly and ultimately all our attachments will be destroyed. We will do more exercises, but maybe not now because we only have 20 more minutes to go, right? so I will try to answer some of your questions you like the exercise? yes with reference to yesterday's example about the What is this? Gauriya? Maharaj? Ah, okay, okay, okay. Who used to chant five lakhs a day. How should he completed that? You know, our philosophy is called So this phrase answers all the questions. I heard in one that Bhakti Siddhanta Sarasvati Thakur Prabhupada Prabhupada, look now to... Can you read? And I will read something else. Seems to be better. How to complete... Wow. One billion names. Which require him to change for about 22 hours in a day. understand this marriage. He had other commitments also, like establishing, marcenating and discussing. That's the question about Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Takur Prabhupada, who took a vow of chanting one billion name. It took him several years. Nine years. At that time, he was not a sannyasi. At that time, he He was not the head of big institutions, so he didn't have headache. So he only had little heart on the bank of Ganga. So no problem, don't worry, he managed it. After that, the headache started. Maharaj, you mentioned that we can't practice bhakti, but practice saranagati surrender. how to understand when it is said bhakti, sadhana bhakti leads to bhava bhakti, bhaktya sanjata bhaktya. Srila Prabhupada gives example of unripe being becomes ripe being. It's an original example by Vishwanath Chakravartyita Kur. Can one practice... Oh, that's the second question, right? You can read the second one and I will answer this one. No, what I said, I didn't say that we should not practice bhakti. We do practice bhakti. We get up early, we go to manglarity, we chant our rounds, we follow regular principles. So many things which we do and that's called sadhana bhakti and that's still important. But we should not think that the result of it is the result of our endeavors. Usually when people talk about sadhana and sadhya, what they mean is that there is certain sadhana to make a soup. If you're sadhya to make soup, then you go to the market, then you buy the vegetables, you cut the vegetables, wash vegetables, cut vegetables, put it in the pot, put pot on the fire and so on and so forth, put some spices in it and here you are, the sadhya is there. You did certain sadhana and as a result you get soup. Of course, if you know how to do it, but basically it's more or less sure, inevitable result. When it comes to bhakti, we do the mechanics of bhakti. We do the practice of bhakti. We do bhakti. But at the same time, we very clearly understand that the result of it does not depend on our endeavors. It depends on the mercy of Krishna. and therefore what is most important is to do this mechanics with the proper mood which is sharanagati and when we do it when our practice is imbibed with this mood then there are bigger chances that Krishna will hear our prayers and ultimately gives us the desired result so that's what I mean sadhya is given to us even though we do sadhana but it's not an ordinary sadhana because ordinary sadhana means we do something and for sure the result will be there in bhakti it's a very strange thing we do something and nobody assures us that the result will be there but it will be there causelessly irrespectively of your endeavors can we practice the all-six angas of Sharanagati in the stage of sadhana bhakti or it manifests as love develops in succession? Well, initially in the beginning you can make a case definitely that first you accept something which is favorable and you are not in a hurry to reject something which you don't want to reject. in the beginning it's difficult to reject something which we don't want to reject, accept something it's okay, it's something extra reject something maybe a little more difficult so you may make a case that it's a gradual development according to the slims and ultimately you understand that you're very much dependent and you You give yourself and you understand that you're very humble. But it's never stressed like this. The stress is given is that we understand what is the essence of sharanagati. And by understanding what is the essence of sharanagati and by kind of tuning up, making this emotional tune up we will practice all the angles of Sharanagati very easily if we really understand if we really enter into this relationship with the Lord that he is maintainer and naturally we will do anukulyasya sankalpah pratikulyasya varjanam and all other things and they all will be included so you can make a case but normally we say this is Sharanagati and all six limbs are there. And if you don't want to remember six limbs, just remember one. Everything else is included. For two nice japa, I try to follow perfect night, perfect sleep time, nice hearing, but I cannot do it for a long time. Very few days I do that. I am not able to follow, be in goodness for a long time. Kindly help me improve my lifestyle, which can be conducive to better Japan. So, he or she is doing something but cannot maintain it for a long time. Why? They want to maintain, they are asking how to maintain. See, to all these questions, the answer is always the same. If you have good association, all these problems will be solved. Ultimately, what we can do? We cannot do much by our own endeavors. But if we have good association, if we have example, then something which was difficult for us becomes very easy. You know, when we imagine ourselves how it is, you know, to chant five legs, we will be just, you know, we will be completely stunned and completely flabbergasted and overwhelmed and we will say, no, not possible. and then you know go to one sadhu who chants five legs and in two weeks you will also chant at least three legs easily in a very natural way so it's a question of association when you see that somebody is doing it when you imagine when you're sitting somewhere in the corner in your kitchen and you think you know how I will do it of course you will not do it because you're sitting in the kitchen but if you think in front of you somebody who is doing it you say oh very okay no problem I can also do it so it's mostly a question of association we learn everything by this process Maharaj you stated that Sharanagati is entrance to bhakti Jeeva Goswami states in Bhaktisandhar Bhattar that Purna Shraddha is symptom of Sharanagadhi. My question is before coming to this stage, is our bhakti mixed? Yes. Actually, it's a good question. If we analyze the stages of spiritual development given by Srila Rubha Goswami in Bhakti Rasa Amrita Sindhu, We first have sraddha and then we have nishta. And both, Srila Prabhupada translates, sraddha is face and nishta is firm face. So, basically, everything in between, between sraddha, which is pliable or not very firm face, and nishta, which is firm face, is development of sharanagati. Because sharanagati is the equivalent of face. And when we do it properly, then our sharanagati becomes more deep and our bhakti becomes less mixed. so in between you know from up to nishta our bhakti is mixed and therefore Bhaktivinoda Takur says it's called bhakti only because our acharyas have very generous heart actually it's not bhakti it's bhakti abbas it's just a shadow bhakti It's a little ghost of bhakti. It's not bhakti proper. But when saranagati becomes firm, and that means achieving the level of nishta, when you don't have any doubts, when you don't have all these mental disturbances, when you know that Krishna is maintaining you and you achieve the humility of the heart, then your bhakti is not mixed. Sharanagati is to be practiced. At the stage of Nishta, when one is self-realized, he sees within himself all the anarthas, past life, this life, since, and he cries Amara Jeevan. This enters, this Sharanagati is naturally manifested. So, till coming to the stage, how should one strive without artificially acting or pretending? There is a difference between following and pretending. Pretending means externally you manifest something, but internally you have some different ideas. You basically have some wicked ideas. You want to achieve some other means by showing, by making this show that you're a completely surrendered soul. You're coming to somebody and you pretend that you're totally surrendered to him, but ultimately you want to, you know, cheat this person. So that's pretending. That's pretension. Pretension is not good. but if we try to follow Sharanagati if we try to rehearse Sharanagati that's different you don't have any ulterior motive to do it you don't have any other reason to do it you just want to do it because you feel it's necessary because you feel it's purifying to the heart because you feel good about it. So that's not pretension. And there is a very subtle but very important difference. And you don't try to show it to others. You try to practice it internally within yourself. And that's good and it's very purifying. So there is no problem. like Brahmananda Prabhu one of the first disciples of Srila Prabhupada he and Srila Prabhupada of course from the very beginning he was teaching his disciples to bow down you know it's probably the most suicidal course to come to Manhattan in the middle of the 60's during this hippie revolution and the first thing you say to your audience you just bow down to me. Shri Prabhupada was very straightforward. So he was teaching his first followers, these hippies from Manhattan, to bow down. And then Brahmananda, being very bold and self-confident, he said, Prabhupada, I don't feel like bowing down. Prabhupada said, you still bow down and after a while you will feel like bowing down. So, in the beginning you don't have to feel like. Feeling will come later. In the beginning we practice, and it doesn't mean that we are pretending. You know, I'm not pretending, I'm just bowing down. Pretending means I'm bowing down and I'm looking, you know, do they see how I'm bowing down? Do they appreciate it? That's pretending. If I just bow down, it's not pretending, I am not pretending, I am just practicing Sharanagati. I have a lot of experience of Krishna's protection and devotees' care, but also there is very strong experience of being rejected after imposing total trust in some devotee. And now when I hear about trust, especially total trust, my body spontaneously shrinks and I feel fear and tense and expectations of new strokes. to practice these exercises? That's... Thank you very much for this question. That's a very perceptive and very important question. Because yes, our past experiences, emotional experiences, manifest in our body. And if the experiences which we had in the past are not conducive for surrender, then definitely the mind and the body will revolt against it. There will be some resistance. Luckily, besides mind and the body, we also have intelligence. So intelligence is this conscious part of us by which we can overcome the unconscious reactions of the mind and the body. Both mind and the body are not conscious. They just react according to the samskaras which are there from the past experiences. and if we didn't have this little tiny buddhi conscious mind which can understand and analyze and ultimately overcome this everything would be hopeless. But Krishna gave us this mind, this buddhi, this intelligence and this intelligence is actually there to analyze our reactions exactly as you are doing in this question. You are observing this reaction. You know that there is a resistance. You know that there is an obstacle. But at the same time, by your conscious intelligence, you will be able to say that this is not conducive. This is not a good reaction. like some people, they had different phobias. And usually phobias is a result of some frightening experience, especially when they were very vulnerable, little kids, babies, and then something happened to them and this experience became very big in their mind. You know, they say that Napoleon, he had panic attacks whenever he would see cats. Because when he was a little baby, his nurse came to the garden and the nurse left him alone. And at that time, the cat approached little Napoleon. And at that time, Napoleon didn't know that he's a Napoleon. and then the whole world will surrender to him. And he became very much afraid of this cat. And Lord Nelson from British side, he knew about this problem of Napoleon. So when the fight in Wetterloh started, then in front of British army, there were hundreds of cats. or a few dozens of cats. And Napoleon, when he saw them, he became so frustrated, he just left and he lost the battle. But the point is that all these fears which we have, all these emotional reactions, they're real. But they're based on certain illusory experiences. The reactions themselves real and we have to recognize the reality. We shouldn't reject them. We shouldn't try to push them away. No, instead of pushing them away, we should go deeper into them and try to understand is it something substantial or not. And with this analysis, this emotional thing will shrink. you know here the author of this question says my body shrinks when somebody says to surrender now I suggest you to shrink this fear instead of shrinking the body just try to go there not be afraid of this reaction admit that this reaction is there sit with this reaction and you will actually understand that maybe cats are not so bad maybe they are nice creatures maybe they are not so harmful as you think so you know cats are maybe not so bad but devotees whom you surrender it's a different question but what I want to say is that if you analyze this maybe you will find somebody who is really trustworthy you might have did this mistake just admit that this was a mistake nobody is guilty I was foolish enough I invested my trust into somebody who was not trustworthy it happens, no problem it doesn't mean that I should not trust anyone from this point on the trust is my way of living without trust I will not be able to achieve anything Trust is very necessary. And if this painful experience which I have precludes me of developing trust, then I have to deal with this experience in a very mature way and say, yeah, I was cheated, I was betrayed, somebody inflicted some pain to me, that's fine. That's a lesson which I learned. I will be more careful next time. but it doesn't mean that there is no trustworthy people in this world. I might have been cheated for hundreds of times. It doesn't mean that, you know, on the 101st case, I will also be cheated. No. Just be intelligent and go very boldly into what we should go. Trust is necessary. Trust is very necessary. In the lecture you said that if negative emotions, the question is in Russian, if negative emotions do not go away, it means that we are doing something wrong. But if there is some permanent service and senior devotees are happy with us and some sudden is there, nevertheless, negative emotions only grow and grow. So basically, the question here is that, you know, I'm doing something, everyone is happy with me my seniors are happy with me I'm doing some sort of sadhana and the negative emotions grow what I'm doing wrong well, everything you're doing is wrong because negative emotions grow it basically means that your motivation is wrong the very fact that somebody is happy with you doesn't mean that you are doing everything right, it just means most probably in this case it means that you are just doing it with some ulterior motive, you just want to please him not to please Krishna not to achieve some spiritual development or purification yes they may be happy but that's not service in real sense the motivation is wrong and because the motivation is wrong then as you said in the question sadhana kakaya nikakaya it's very difficult to translate it to English some sort of sadhana I'm doing so this sort of sadhana which you are doing nikakaya is not good It's not kakaya, it's nikakaya. Okay. Okay, yeah. So now we have emotional part of our retreat, drama. Drama is the best way to experience emotions, especially when we absorb into what is happening and I don't know if you know the director, the leader of this group which we are going to see. Her name is Madhuri Kadambini and I know her for a long time. Madhuri Kadambini, her very name means the cloud of nectar and she very humbly calls her theater the cloud of nectar. but she's an amazing devotee she's really wonderful she's really special she's so determined she's extremely special and very talented she makes very beautiful dramas and everything and she goes and shows these dramas in Nepal and in other parts of the world and she's so inspiring, she's so dedicated, she's talented in many, many regards. So I really want you to experience what she's and her little group are about to show. And in this performance I heard there will be, I don't how they manage it. Usually when we talk about Kaliya Damanalila it's mostly Krishna and Kaliya and maybe Mother Yashoda. In this drama there will be 40 different people. I guess 39 will be showing the different heads of Kaliere. Anyway, let's see how it works. Let's go on down and see.